My story has a twist to the end always trust your gut instinct. My husband died when I was 34 years old. He left me with four children. I owned my own home and he left me with a substantial amount of money. My family were all close by and they all helped me to look after the children.
My husband’s friend spent a lot of time with us and also helped with the kids. Eight weeks after my husband’s death my family were getting tired and they needed their own space to grieve. My husband’s friend took over with the support. One day I had a text from him. He said he had feelings for me and if I didn't feel the same he wouldn't come around anymore. I wasn't ready for a relationship but I didn't want to lose the friendship. We started dating and I felt like I was living a double life.
When I was with him I felt fine but when he was at work I would cry for my husband and carry on grieving. My sister and brother said that he only wanted me for my money. Graham would say well your sister and brother only want your money. Before I knew it I had lost my siblings and I left my house empty and moved. Graham said you can easily afford to rent another house and pay your mortgage on your old house. So I left and moved 7 miles away to near where my father lived.
Everything was OK for a few months but Graham had become very controlling. He pushed my son to the ground because he wouldn't go to school. My father said he didn't like how Graham treated the children. Graham said I was too soft on the kids and they needed discipline. My son ran away from home and didn't want to come back. My son had moved back to family from where we came from. My father said he was going to call social services on Graham. Next thing I know Graham and his family moved us in the middle of the night twenty miles away.
This is where Graham stepped up the abuse. I had no family around me and he didn't like me having any friends. I was also told I wasn't allowed on Facebook. Graham controlled our lives and my two young daughters were now being controlled. Graham would get in a rage and grab my girls by their arms so they couldn't walk away when he was shouting at them. I used to get upset and he would say if you don't like it then walk away.... these girls need discipline. He would tell me I was a bad mother and I was crazy.
Every time we argued he would disappear for weeks and give me the silent treatment. His family would also give me the silent treatment. I felt so isolated and so alone. I remember thinking this isn't love and my husband never made me feel crazy. He never stroked my hair or kissed me. Something always felt not right but as he said I was crazy ... I just thought it was me with the problem.
My money was running out as Graham wanted stuff all the time. I thought buying him things would make him happy. He asked me for money for yet another car. I told him I couldn't afford it. He said well use the money out of the girl’s trust fund that their dad had left them. I took a thousand pounds out and handed it to him. Graham was becoming more distant and very secretive.
He was spending hours on his phone playing game of war. The one evening he went to work the night shift and when he came back in the morning he started shouting at me. I was fast asleep and he scared me. He said you have left the washing on the line and you let those girls keep their mobile phones on them throughout the night. Something just snapped in me and I told him to leave.
Weeks went by with no contact. I woke up one morning to my daughter crying. She said Graham had phoned her and said he wanted nothing more to do with them because he had found out they had talked to a member of my family. For weeks my daughters reached out to him and he just gave them the silent treatment. My youngest was found on her bed not breathing she had taken an overdose of my antidepressants. She was rushed to hospital and they managed to save her. I text Graham and told him and he changed his number within a few hours. I said to my daughter why did you want to take your life, she said I couldn't take the silent treatment anymore mom. Then I get an eviction notice that I have to leave my rented home.
I'm in a panic, no family, no friends or support. So I email Graham telling him that I can't do this on my own. He read the email and hundreds of emails after but carried on ignoring me. Everyone that knew him said he had disappeared. Christmas Eve I'm on Facebook because now I can do what I want and his picture pops up. He was now in America with another woman. I go through her Facebook and I can't believe what I'm seeing. He had been with her a year before we had split up.
He had fled England and re invented himself in America. The twist to this story is.... his new woman is a widow who has money. I knew deep down he was a con man but I just kept brushing it aside. So now I'm here on my own with my children with no family and my money gone. I hope one day he gets his karma for destroying my family
N. Martin