I met my first ever boyfriend when I was 17, we waited till we was 18 to have sex and be more serious. Things were so good, I felt truly in love. 18 months into the relationship it turned sour, he started controlling me, manipulating me, bullying, harassing, humiliating, and then physically hurting me.
It started with a few pushes then he bounced my head off our door, no one helped no one knew. At age 19 I fell pregnant, he stopped the physical abuse but controlled me that much more. He cut me off from my entire family and all my friends he isolated me.
After our son was born it started again with pushing then escalating to punches, choking and kicking. He started head butting, smashing my house up and always threatened to take our son, his parents knew and supported him and his actions claiming ‘I’ve made him this way’ or I ‘deserved it’.
His parents then started bullying me and scared me into staying or else they’d take my son from me as he was ‘theirs’ not mine! I kept quiet with no escape in total for 6 years enduring all kinds of pain and fear.
Until one day I met my mum in secret and told her, she and my sister told me to go home pack for me and my son and then live with them safely until we have a more secure life. I did just that, until he came home assaulted me in front of our son, pinned me to the floor and beat me so badly.
His parents swiftly arrived and they then assaulted me, I tried running with my son but they caught me pinned me and stole my son from my arms whilst he crying hysterically for me. My family then arrived and called the police, my ex was arrested for assault and his parents for assault and kidnap with intent, and all three of them was found guilty and paid a fine!
Since the assault a year has passed, my ex has left the country not caring about seeing his child and his parents have threatened me to try and take custody, however with the help of my DV worker, police and social services all backing me they haven’t even so much has been granted visitation.
I never wanted this life for my son and to stop him from seeing his family but he will not be a weapon for their control. Now we have my family and friends back, have our own home, stability and at last not living in fear!
E. Louise