It’s because I’m not hot enough right? I’m just not hot for you? Let me love you. Let me treat you like a real woman” I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
Then the sex, if I was tired (I worked a night job and had college in the day) he would bully me, he said I didn’t love him and would go into fits of rage if I said no. So I just gave in, if he wasn’t happy with my performance he would walk out of the room and tell me to finish myself off.
I believed I had a chance to survive. That was until I met him. When you think of your partner you shouldn’t have to remind yourself the good in him and what he could become one day. I believed he could change.
I heard the door open and it was my assaulter. He stood and shut the door and said well, would you look at that.
She said she knew then something was wrong but we never mentioned it again, not until months later when my mum found a letter, or more of a diary entry I had written, stating how it wasn’t my fault and how I felt about what had happened.
They did cheer me up, and I thought it was sincere because I didn't have much faith in my other 'friends' comforting me at the time. He offered me a drink, my first drink of the night, whisky. A few conversations later he goes into the kitchen to fetch me another that makes 2.
The beatings started first, just a slap here and there. Till one night he beat me so bad I blacked out. I was left with black eyes and bruises everywhere. My parents knew I was clumsy and I blamed it on that
Crying and angry I told him to get out. He did. Nobody bothered to pull him off me.
He was great I thought I had hit the gold. Lovely to me and my son and did everything he could to make us happy for 2 years we lived a simple happy life. I fell pregnant and things changed
He was 8 years older than me and I thought god literally spat him out he was perfect to me. Time went on and he met my baby he was fantastic better than anyone I had met before. He was in fact too good to be true.
Bullying intensified sometimes growing from mental to physical abuse but thanks to my cousins I knew how to defend myself and after few fights that I've won physical abuse stopped.
I remember thinking did I lead him on in any way, did I give him the wrong signals?? I decided not to bring it up with him, maybe I was just over reacting.
My boyfriend of the time got so insanely (literally insane) jealous, that he began coming to my high school during my lunches and off hours to "hang out" with me, just to get me away from my new guy-friend
It was not a serious relationship, but one day he visited me on campus and a guy said hi to me. He called me a whore and threw my plate of food on the ground.
He was constantly checking on me calling and texting if I didn't reply within 5-10 mins, just to see if he can tell by my surroundings I’m not drinking.
The verbal abuse was getting worse, and so was the manipulation. He manipulated me into thinking I was just a bother for my friends and family, and no one truly loved me except for him
I kept trying to get up but he told me to not worry and to just go along with it. I kept saying I should go, glancing and trying to move towards the door.
I didn't know what was happening because I was so young I just knew I didn't like it but It got to a point where it would happen so frequently I would sleep under my bed just so he couldn't get to me.
He made me feel like I was really losing my mind. Like I was going crazy and it was all my own fault! Like I deserved everything I got and I wasn’t a victim of domestic abuse BECAUSE I deserved it.
I was never wild, never cheated, worked and came home. It started with little things- comments about my weight, or how I wasn't wearing makeup, etc.