When I was 18, I fell inlove with this guy, we'll call him D, everything was great, we moved in together, he worked at a goat farm, everything was going fine. I discovered he had cheated on me, I went through his phone and found messages. But I stayed because I found out months after it happened, so I figured what could I do then? Then we broke up, because I wanted to use my car to see my friends, I should have known something was wrong. But we got back together. We lived at about four different apartments, always with roommates and most the time moving out because we couldnt afford rent. D was a recovering addict, and I ended up getting addicted myself, before drugs were even a dominant thing in our relationship, there was many arguments that ended in holes in the wall... About a year in after breaking up, D wanted to have a boys night out at the club, i wasn't allowed to go, so I stayed home with our roommate and D's cousin. Cousin ended up raping me, and D never believed me. The night it happened D finally put his hands on me, pushing me against the toiled in the bathroom. My life from 2013-2015 was a living hell, constant psd from being raped, not being believed that it happened, etc. I ended up heavily addicted to heroin along witb D. We were living at my parents house at this time. My mom ended up making us get help. I went to rehab May 28th, 2015, D entered May 27th, he left, went to my house to get his stuff and my mother asked him not to let him know i was out, because I was so mentally and physically dependent on him that she knew I'd find a way to leave rehab. He looked her in the eye and told her he'd tell me if he wanted to. She ended up telling me and that was the breaking point, him disrespecting my mother after all she did for us. The day I get out I go see D because he still had control over me, he asked me for money, i say no. Fast forward, I knew he was using while telling me he was clean, and I approached him about it and he lost it. It's been almost 3 years since me and D broke up, I still see his ghost, I still fear a raised voice, and I'm still scarred from everything that happened. D still tries to see me, to talk to me, and I finally told him exactly how I felt, I have no reason to fear him anymore, I have a wonderful relationship with someone who understands my past, and treats me like a princess, and he has a little boy who I am ever so greatful to be in his life. Things so get better, you just have to get past the bad first.
Anonymous