I was 14 when i met my first boyfriend. I met him at a school i had just started, he was a year older than me. Things went well for the first 4 months. He used to smoke cannabis every day. He got in with the wrong group of friends and started to take cocaine. That’s when everything changed. He would start being controlling, he had all of my social media passwords, had to know what I was doing all of the time, made me meet him during lessons (I ended up missing a lot of education because of this) whilst he was flirting with other girls his own age. He then started taking legal highs which is like a synthetic weed. His anger started getting out of control and he turned into a different person. He then cheated on me with one of my friends, he flirted with her in front of my face and then literally ran off with her to her house, slept with her and ended up outside my house at 3am saying he didn’t do anything and I was so naive i let him in. Because he cheated, he constantly thought I was. He would then sit up stalking my social media accounts and messages all night every night to see if i was messaging any guys. One day one of my guy friends from school messaged me. I woke up in the morning to 80 missed calls and over 100 texts. I received messages saying ‘I hope your mum is rotting in her grave’ ‘your mum was riddled with cancer’ etc. (I was 9 when my mum passed away from lung cancer) I ended it with him there and then and vowed i’d never go back. He begged and begged until I took him back a few months later. In between I started seeing new people which he found
out about. He then videod me performing oral sex on him without my knowledge. It came to my attention when we had an argument and he sent it to a group of girls who i didn’t get on with and all of them posted it on facebook and sent it to my dad. Him and the girls got arrested but i didn’t want to press charges as i was scared: I was stupid enough to keep getting back with him and that when the physical violence turned bad. I was getting punched, kicked, slapped, chucked and pushed by him, he even threatened me with a knife on a few occasions. I was 15 years old. He ended up getting arrested on the last occasion where he followed me home and ended up beating me up under a subway which luckily had CCTV. After the attack he was threatening to kill him self. This was a minute walk away from my home. He jumped in front of a car and ironically it was an undercover police car. He got arrested there and then and was kept on remand and went to court. I only made statements about 2 of the many attacks and he got done for 2 counts of ABH. He only got community service baring in mind he had a previous criminal history of being physically abusive. I have finally broke ties with him although he still tries to contact me. There is a lot more to the story and the horror he put me through at such a young age. I am 17 now and I am in a happy and loving relationship. I shared this story because people seem to think that these things happen to older men/women. I was 14/15 when this all happened to me. Age doesn’t define how abusive someone can be.
K. Hyams