My story is a story of rape within a relationship. I was 18, in an unstable relationship and he asked me on holiday with his family. I thought, “Yeah I’ll go, this holiday will show me whether being with him is right or not. It’s going to make us or break us.” On holiday, in a caravan, with his family. I remember that he wanted to push our single beds together so we could have a double, sleep close together. One night, (this part for me is a bit of a blur, as I’ve tried to blank it out) I just remember him touching me, me telling him “No” “Stop” “I don’t want too”. Things that are simple and easy to understand. Then I remember just lying there thinking, ‘He isn’t going to stop’ he lay on top of me and that when it happened. He raped me. To this day it still sends shivers down my spine. I rolled back over and fell to sleep. I woke the next day and he acted like nothing had happened. He knew exactly what had happened. I got the train the next day and told me Mum to pick me up from the train station. A very long journey on a train for a lonely 18 year old girl. But I was away from him and no longer scared. Mum picked me up, confused and I told her what happened as she drove. She stayed so strong and I love her for that. She asked if I wanted to take this to the police. I stated no, it’s too much to handle. 4 years later I still deal with PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts. But I am strong and I am so proud of myself for standing up and being brave to tell my story. “You’re not alone!”
A. Wilson