I am still recovering a year later from domestic violence. For two years I was abused in every way you can think of. Beat, raped, emotional, mental, physical sexual abuse. My family was used against me, often the beating would occur just a walk away from my home if not in front of my home because he wanted to get me and my family evicted from our home. And he almost did. I was forced out of my home and homeless on street for over a year with him, all while being abused still. Public humiliation, his mom throwing a drink on me and threatening me more than once, being held hostage, choked, dragged by my hair, etc. etc. Every day I wondered if I’d get to come home to my little sister and parents one day. I thought I’d never escape. He truly took me empathy and kindness for weakness. I was a self-aware victim if that makes sense. He knew I lied to police multiple times when people would call on him when he would public ally abuse me, because I didn’t want his kids to be without a father even though they were not my children. He knew I LOVE children and he used that to his advantage. One night I couldn’t take it anymore and I finally started screaming when he was beating me and luckily a man, who had the same name as my abuser, came and helped me, all a block away from my home, He had sworn on his children’s lives that night that if I met him one more time to talk, that he wouldn’t abuse me. I didn’t take anything with me because he was known for breaking phones like nothing, and taking my house keys from me so I couldn’t go home. Things like that. But he did beat me that night after he swore on his kids’ lives, & I knew my future children deserved a father who wouldn’t lie on them, so I risked my lives for them. He was never charged and still lives free and I do always have that fear in back of my mind he will come back for revenge. I’ll take everything to the grave with me because I don’t want to lose my family. My dad found out somehow that he pulled my hair and let’s just say he is BEYOND unhappy. BEYOND livid. Rightfully so, but that is why I never told my family because I know how they are. That’s what I told my main saviors life who had my abusers name, his wife told me to tell my parents and I was scared crying saying I can’t I can’t I don’t want to lose my dad or my family !!!! I still have that fear in the back of my mind every day. I was so fortunate that I was able to get away, but even me typing that makes me hesitate and think maybe I THINK I’ve gotten away, but he is going to come back sooner or later to raise hell again. He took that from me my sense of security. He took my family’s sense of security. Every bruise now they think I’m being abused by my current boyfriend. He did that to them. They often don’t believe me because I covered for him because I knew what they’d do if I told. He did that to them. I have to fix not only myself, but my family as well. My own grandmother almost stabbed him and she doesn’t even know if the abuse. She knows though, but I’ve never told her. She just knew. It’s made me stronger and afraid of nothing or no one. I can’t say there is a guarantee full recovery, but it is possible to feel happy again, and there is hope 💕. For those going thru it, there is hope. For those having gone thru it, there is hope to recovery 💕. Stay Strong. You’re stronger than your abuser I promise you. 🙏🏽
J. Chelly